Saturday, October 31, 2009

Happy Halloween! Not feeling it this year. In the past, I went all out sewing costumes for the kids. Some years I was organized and had things done well in advance, other years the costumes went from the sewing machine to the kids' backs and we were out the door. It was sort of rushed and incredibly last minute but I function well under stress so it worked. This year, I just couldn't do it. I could blame the fact that the dog turned the cord to the serger into several piles of plastic and wire but truthfully, I was kind of relieved. All of a sudden I had an excuse that sounded ever so much better than "I don't want to!" This year the reality of Tatyanna's condition is weighing a little more heavily and although we are trying desperately to keep things functioning as normally as possible for the sake of the other kids, some times we stumble. Sometimes the grief that Trent and I carry just weighs too much. Although we keep moving forward, doing the little things becomes so very difficult. House work is neglected in favour of snuggling on the couch watching cartoons and fabric for costumes sits in a heap waiting for another time.

This year I tied dyed a shirt, tacked some flower trim onto a pair of flare bottomed jeans, added some daisies to her hair and Tatyanna was a flower child. I bought some black wings to add to Lexi's tap dance ensemble, put some makeup on her face and she was instantly transformed into a night fairy. Skylar put on last year's costume (Keirnan has declared himself too old for such fun) and we were good to go. The effort took minimal budget and less than half an hour of effort and the kids went out and had a blast and for me, that's what really counts. I want so badly for my kids to experience life as normally as possible for as long as we can. I want them to remember their sister as simply being a part of the family. I want them to remember us having good times because that is what is going to help carry us through when things get tough.

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