Saturday, October 11, 2003

It's funny how despite the fact that something may be a right decision, it doesn't necessarily make you feel very good. There should be an emotional clause somewhere that states "correct decisions will generate the following emotions: contentment, happiness, relief etc." At this moment, I should be somewhere near Elie, drinking a truly horrible cup of joe, listening to some driving tunes and cursing the fact that I'm on the way to a truly insane weekend of endless classes. I should be....but I'm not, because I quit school. (Quit isn't really the right term either, because, I fully plan to resume my studies once I have half a clue where we will be living next year.) It didn't seem overly prudent to waste 5000$ to get half a year's worth of education if we aren't going to be here next year to finnish it off. Unless I win the Super 7 tonight it's just not happening.I felt pretty good about the whole thing until this morning when I gave a friend in the city the heads up...now she's upset and I feel lousy. I guess it kind of made the weight of my decision more apparent. There's a lot that I'm really going to miss and it isn't just the friends that I've made there, it's the whole being a student thing - I'm good at it, i've been one for the last 22 years. I also kind of get the idea that i will be letting alot of people down and I'm not too happy about that. I wish things could have been different, but they can't.