passive-agressive ranting

Dear ____________

Normally I'm a fairly easy going, live and let live kind of girl. I don't usually get upset over small things and, even when bothered, I don't generally say anything. I prefer to give things a day or two to see if it really matters or not. Apparently, this time, it does. The other day I was offended. Disturbed enough that I lost sleep over the matter.....for 2 nights. I'm not sure if the stress of the holiday season has made me overly sensitive or if its because I expected better from you all. You are educated, intelligent people. I am disappointed.

Addressing your kids affectionately with the monikers of Short-bus and Special ed is no more appropriate than giving them nicknames containing racial slurs. Using that kind of language is not funny, it's not cute. It is inconsiderate and just plain ignorant. As the parent of a courageous little girl who qualifies for that particular club, I was hurt. Over the last year and half I have become very familiar with many kids with significant and varying medical needs, most would be considered card-carrying members and all have more heart, resilience and tenacity than I have ever seen in a person. These kids endure more than any person should ever have to. Using that kind of language "in fun" is demeaning to them.

I truly hope that you will reconsider the nicknames that you have chosen for your children but if not I make this request: Every time that you address one of your "normal" daughters by Special ed or Short-bus, please take a moment to give thanks. Be thankful that, thus far, you have been allowed to remain naive and sheltered. Be thankful that, in the grand scheme of things, your little girls have enjoyed relatively good health.

Your children have the only thing that many of us want for our own sweet kids, a future. Don't take that for granted.

waiting for santa......

Dear Dog,

The Christmas tree is considered holiday decor and its sole purpose is to give the house an air of festivity. It is NOT a help-yourself, all you can eat, buffet of colourful, plastic chew toys. If you value your place in this family, you will cease and desist your current behaviour immediately.

I thank you for your attention to this matter and urge that you conduct your self accordingly.

Sincerely,

The Management

***

Dear Kittens,

I realize that you are cats and as such have been indoctrinated, since birth, with the belief that the world is your oyster and you can do no wrong. Truly, I hate to be the one to bring any sort of doubt to this belief system. But, the large tree that has taken up residence in the living room was NOT put there for your amusement. The colourful baubles that adorn its branches are NOT your playthings and your jumping from branch to branch is NOT poetry in motion. Truthfully you are all at that gawky, teenage stage of kittenhood and although you may feel graceful, that cat-like precision is currently under development. I realize that your mother has told you differently, but seriously, anyone who still breastfeeds their teenage children should not be trusted. I apologize for bringing this harsh reality to light but it had to be done.

Sincerely,

The Management

Shopping that you can feel good about

Tom's Shoes - I just came across this website today and I've got to say that it's something that I'm really excited about. For every pair of shoes that you purchase, Tom's shoes will make a pair for a child in need. How cool is that??! It's win/win. Not only do you have a funky pair of shoes, or 7, but someone who really needs the protection that footwear provides, no longer has to go without. I fully intend to support this company in the new year and will let you know how it goes!

Dave's Homeroast - This is also a business that I'm excited about. In fact, I made my first order on the weekend and am eagerly awaiting its arrival in the mail! Dave is the father to a son who has the juvenile form of Batten Disease and all proceeds from every sale go towards supporting Batten Disease and research. And, if that's not a good enough sell for you, he often has a selection of organic and fair trade coffees available for purchase as well. The only problem that I had with Dave's Homeroast was making a decision between the interesting (and often completely unpronounceable) types of beans that he had at that moment. The shipping was inexpensive and less than 24 hours after I made my order, I received an email from Dave informing me that he had just roasted my beans and would be placing them in the mail the following morning. Now that's service!

Possum Sauce *Warning - unabashed mommy bias ahead* - purchasing info coming soon! No there is no possum, nor is there any sauce - which in my opinion is a very, very good thing as I don't think that those two items go particularly well together! Possum Sauce is entirely my son's creation and will consist, primarily, of t-shirts with a variety of designs bearing the Possum Sauce logo. These are probably t-shirts that you buy for your skate-board obsessed son or daughter and not your macrame and decoupage obsessed auntie. But, I could be wrong, I don't know your aunt. All profit from the sale of Keirnan's t-shirts will go towards Tatyanna's Hope and supporting Batten Disease research. I'm pretty proud of my kid for wanting to get involved and help out and think that this venture will be really good in helping him feel like he's making a difference. Skylar is also working on some ideas and I hope to be able to share that info with you soon!

It's been that kind of a night. A perfect follow up to a reality bites kind of day. No, I can't say I want to talk about it right now. Please, if it could stop raining* anytime now that would be great as I seem to have one of those crappy umbrellas that they try to sell you on the streets of Beijing for the very cheap price of 10 RMB "because you from Canada, and I love Canada". Yes, I know I'm generally a "learn to dance in the puddles" kind of girl but for tonight my galoshes are chafing and all that dancing is just giving me blisters.

*that would be figurative rain as opposed to literal, the only precipitation that I we will see for a very very long time comes in the frozen variety.

Parenting law #45433

The chances of your child crawling into your bed in the wee hours of the morning and throwing up all over your sheets can be positively correlated with several factors. These factors are:

1. The sheets on the bed are freshly laundered.

2. The sheets on the bed are your favourite, million thread count, Egyptian cotton sheets that you are fairly certain fell from heaven above because they are that soft.

3. You have just had an incredibly stressful day and are truly looking forward to the reprieve granted by several hours of slumber

4. This is the first night that you actually have the potential of getting over 6 hours of sleep.

5. At some point during the day you found yourself thinking, "Wow, it's been a long time since any of the kids have been really sick. I'm so lucky!" Never, ever have this thought. It will jinx you every time.

If all these factors occur simultaneously, the linear relationship becomes significantly stronger and you should probably just drape your bed in plastic now and save yourself the inevitable late night date with a bucket and a jug of Tide.

A cautionary parenting sort of tale.....

When your child comes comes up to you wearing oven mitts and a tentative look on her face...this is a bad, bad sign.

When the tentative look is followed by, "Mommy, I tried to make myself some pink milk....all by myself, beause Keirnan and Skylar wouldn't help me.....but I couldn't make it work out very good. I think I need some help, cuz....... nope, it didn't work out very good at all.".....this is most definitly a bad sign. Nothing good can come from this.

When your child hands you the oven mitts and says "You should probably put these on" and you enter the kitchen and realize that it has a sort of sweet and smoky smell, remnicent of evenings spent around a campfire and flaming marshmellows on a poplar branch......like I said, nothing good. But on the upside, you entered the kitchen knowing it was bad and hey, it could always be worse!

Needless to say, an impromtu family meeting was held regarding the responsibilities of older siblings while I'm putting Tatyanna to bed and Trent is not home. Emphasis was also placed on the rule that only big people are allowed to touch the microwave. We also touched briefly upon the fact that pressing 123....8* is probably a touch excessive when it comes to taking the chill off of a glass of pink milk.






*I'm fairly certain that she didn't really press 123....8 but I could be wrong. How long does it take to make milk jerky in the microwave?

snow day

I'm generally not the type of person who can't get into the Christmas spirit without snow. Personally, I would be just as happy to sing a round of "Deck the Halls" on a beach somewhere. But, I will (reluctantly) admit that it was sort of nice to finally have snow on the ground. Over the course of a few hours, that which was once drab and grey was transformed into a magical landscape that glittered in the veiled sunlight. Since Tatyanna was in school for the day, I took advantage of the nice weather and headed to a park with Lexi. We met up with one of her friends from ballet and spent the afternoon playing on the climber and building a snowman. Truthfully, this is only the second snowman that I have ever helped build in my entire life. Yes I am aware that that fact is probably grounds to have my Canadian citizenship confiscated. That aside, I think our Frosty turned out pretty good!