semi-coherent ramblings and such....

I find them all over the house. Names and phone numbers scrawled hastily in a variety of colours on scrap pieces of paper. Sometimes there is corresponding information but more often than not, it's just a name. Every time I get a call from a person claiming that they can "heal" my daughter I feel compelled tor write their name down. Sometimes I even take them on a merry hunt throughout my house while I attempt to track down a pen that can actually get the job done, carrying on a running dialogue as we go on the quest together, just so that they know I'm sincerely looking for some sort of writing utensil. The strange part is, for most of these people, I know that I will never pick up the phone to call them. It's not that I don't believe in alternative healing methods....although to be honest, I really can't see how "plunking some numbers into Tatyanna's energy fields" is going to somehow miraculously make her better, it's because every other parent with a Batten's child has gone down this road before. They have all grasped desperately at what ever hope is available, spent thousands of dollars on miracle herbs and taken their kids for Reiki and ionic footbaths and they just don't work. Despite this, I do appreciate the effort it took for these people to pick up the phone and make the call. Particularly since I have yet to hear from people I once considered to be friends. Most of them seem genuinely concerned and really believe that their products/treatment will work. I can appreciate this and so, I take the time to write their phone number down, as if in some unspoken way this makes my gratitude more real, more tangible. There's also a part of me that believes that they will somehow know that I'm not actually writing the phone number despite my claims to the positive and all sorts of unpleasantness will then ensue.
The only real problem with this practice is, I'm left with remnants of paper around the house and have no idea if the number is something important or something that is safe to toss in the recycling bin.