Wednesday, September 16, 2009

Random observations from the last 24 hours :

1. Before dental surgery they give you a helpful piece of paper which outlines the pre-op protocol and post-op expectations. The words pain and discomfort are used on more than one occasion. Is there anywhere on that document that informs you of the fact that the procedure will leave you feeling as though you were left licking the kill floor of the local meat packing plant while someone beats you with a 2X4? No, no there's not. But I'm thinking that it would be a far better, and more enlightening description.

2. This is somewhat related to #1 - I'm fairly certain that Sookie eats a lot more breath mints and spicy gum than she lets on.

3. People are allowed to obtain prescriptions for injectable things like hormones, insulin and heparin....why not lidocaine? I think part of the post-op goodie bag should contain your own personal injection kit with a day or two's supply of local anaesthetic.

4. Observation at the oral-maxillofacial surgeon's office:

As you sit in the comfortable waiting room, you see people arrive to pick up their "charges" but you never actually see them leave. That's because the post-op crowd gets to leave out of the super sneaky back door exit. I'm sure, if asked, that they would tell you that it's for your own personal sense of privacy and dignity, but's all about the bottom line. If I saw someone leave through the front door looking that way that I know I did, I probably would have made a pretty hasty retreat.

5. Even if you are driving a totally hot, brand new Mustang GT, peeling out of the Tim Horton's drive through, tires squealing, with a bunch of empty Hagen Daz boxes stuck in your spoiler is still no cooler than swaggering out of the men's room with toilet paper trailing from your shoe.

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