-the only peaceful cup of coffee you have is in the bathtub...with your two younger kids and a collection of floating farm animals
-you actually take your two year old out wearing a plush unicorn costume....with wings...because at least it means she's finally wearing something
-you find yourself saying things like: "I'm sorry that you flushed Pooh (as in Winnie) down the toilet but he's not coming back"
"I know you're being very gentle but I don't think the puppy likes it when you pet him with the hammer"
"The rule in this house is no hitting but if you're determined to beat the crap out of each other...do it civilly...the swords are on the mantle"
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