You know you need a night out when....

-the only peaceful cup of coffee you have is in the bathtub...with your two younger kids and a collection of floating farm animals

-you actually take your two year old out wearing a plush unicorn costume....with wings...because at least it means she's finally wearing something

-you find yourself saying things like: "I'm sorry that you flushed Pooh (as in Winnie) down the toilet but he's not coming back"
"I know you're being very gentle but I don't think the puppy likes it when you pet him with the hammer"
"The rule in this house is no hitting but if you're determined to beat the crap out of each other...do it civilly...the swords are on the mantle"

More life lessons......

5. The day you work really hard cleaning the house and doing laundry and dealing with cranky and children and are so tired that you can't wait to crawl into bed somewhere in the early hours of the morning is also the day that you find that your child, who has fallen asleep in your bed, has also peed all over your favourite comfy sheets.

Life lessons learned over the past week...

1. Just when you think your child's current medication is truly terrible, her pediatrician will change the prescription to double the amount of an even worse tasting substance

2. The person with the bare feet always finds the dog poop in the dark

3. The moment you are done killing all the flies in the house a child will then leave the back door open as they run out to play.

4. People with crocheted afghans in the rear window of their cars always drive VERY slowly.