For the first time in recent memory I was able to simply relax...for more than minute. The older kids spent the long weekend in Brandon with their dad and the youngest spent a couple of nights with her grandma in Sylvan. Once the initial lost feeling wore off it was a good weekend. There were no fights to break up, no early morning requests for breakfast, no puddles of any variety to clean up, just unstructured free time. I got to stay in bed until I was good and ready to leave, watch TV shows that were free from singing and colourful animated characters, and have some good quality time with T. We even went out for dinner twice...to nice restaurants where there were no slides and no napkin and ketchup dispensers. Not once did anyone ask if we wanted a kids menu. I love my kids and wouldn't trade being a mom for anything but dammit, I needed this past weekend.

For the past two years T and I have known that there is something different with Yanna. Although everyone around us has tried to provide reassurance that she's fine- just a little different, there's always been a lurking suspicion that things go a little deeper than that. While no parent wants to admit that there is something wrong with their child, there comes a time when you have to take steps to determine what the problem is and how to accept and deal with it. After having numerous screenings done and a visit to Dr. Elves, we have a tentative diagnosis of Pervasive Developmental Disorder-not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS) which is simply a label that fits in with an array of disorders on the Autism Spectrum. Yanna is somewhere on the higher functioning end of the spectrum. She has most of the diagnostic criteria, but not all of them. As much as I hate labels, in some way it comes as a relief. For a long time time I have wracked my brain wondering what I did wrong during the pregnancy and the months following or what I could have done differently. Was it the fall in the playground, or the time she ran into a wall at grandmas?? Or maybe some random medication that I took during pregnancy or while nursing? I even wondered if I was simply getting the parenting thing all wrong. It was nice to hear the doctor say that I'm doing the right thing, and this isn't any of my doing. That it is simply because her brain is wired differently than that of most people. Where we go from here, I'm not so sure. She's now on a waiting list for speech therapy as well as occupational therapy with a doctor recommendation that she get bumped up on the list. I also need to obtain a medical history from my side of the family which I'm kind of dreading as I haven spoken to my birth family since my wedding. This will have to be carefully planned as I'm pretty sure that calling them will be on the awkward site, particularly since they don't know we've moved back.....or even had Lex yet. I probably should have called, or even written, but that's a whole different entry. I've got to admit that I've never missed Edmonton and my group of educated, like minded "Friday moms" more!!!

For the past two years T and I have known that there is something different with Yanna. Although everyone around us has tried to provide reassurance that she's fine- just a little different, there's always been a lurking suspicion that things go a little deeper than that. While no parent wants to admit that there is something wrong with their child, there comes a time when you have to take steps to determine what the problem is and how to accept and deal with it. After having numerous screenings done and a visit to Dr. Elves, we have a tentative diagnosis of Pervasive Developmental Disorder-not otherwise specified (PDD-NOS) which is simply a label that fits in with an array of disorders on the Autism Spectrum. Yanna is somewhere on the higher functioning end of the spectrum. She has most of the diagnostic criteria, but not all of them. As much as I hate labels, in some way it comes as a relief. For a long time time I have wracked my brain wondering what I did wrong during the pregnancy and the months following or what I could have done differently. Was it the fall in the playground, or the time she ran into a wall at grandmas?? Or maybe some random medication that I took during pregnancy or while nursing? I even wondered if I was simply getting the parenting thing all wrong. It was nice to hear the doctor say that I'm doing the right thing, and this isn't any of my doing. That it is simply because her brain is wired differently than that of most people. Where we go from here, I'm not so sure. She's now on a waiting list for speech therapy as well as occupational therapy with a doctor recommendation that she get bumped up on the list. I also need to obtain a medical history from my side of the family which I'm kind of dreading as I haven spoken to my birth family since my wedding. This will have to be carefully planned as I'm pretty sure that calling them will be on the awkward site, particularly since they don't know we've moved back.....or even had Lex yet. I probably should have called, or even written, but that's a whole different entry. I've got to admit that I've never missed Edmonton and my group of educated, like minded "Friday moms" more!!!